Living With an Alarm Clock Killer
by EmptyHallway
Summary: A pointless story of lovely Rogan fluffiness. Life, broken clocks, and useless banter. You know you want to read it. Most finally completed!
1. Stupid Alarm Clock

CHAPTER OOOOONE

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Crash! _

Logan sat up, startled, as the monotonous beeping of the alarm clock was replaced with a sharp crash. Sure enough, the small electronic box lay in pieces on the wood floor beneath the bedside table. On Rory's side. He rolled his eyes, realizing what had happened. Rory, still feigning sleep, was next to him, a falsely innocent smile plastered on her face.

He bent down and kissed her softly. "That's what," He whispered in her ear playfully, "The eighth one in two weeks?"

Rory tried unsuccessfully to keep from smiling. The edges of her mouth twitching upward, she mumbled something about mornings and the devil and covered her face with a large, ploofy pillow.

Logan pulled it out of her hands and placed it next to him, pressing a kiss on her forehead. "Ace, I don't know if we can buy another. Every time we walk into a store, the alarm clocks go running, fearing their inevitable death."

"Good." She whined as he stood up, pulling the covers off of her in the process. "They deserve to die. No other small household appliance has ever wished me any harm, except for the alarm clocks. I bet they plan it! Oh yes, mister, don't look at me like that. I am _sure _that alarm clocks were invented to put me through hell at…" She looked at the large grandfather clock in the corner, "Exactly 7:30 every morning."

Logan was indeed staring at her like she was crazy. Which, it suddenly occurred to him, she was. That was why he loved her so much. "What about Bartholomew?" He asked with a small smirk, opening the door to a rather large walk in closet. "He is slowly killing you, day by day."

Rory held a hand to her heart dramatically and gasped. "You didn't! Bartie would _never_ do anything to me! He is the bringer of _life,_ Logan. He revives the wounds I receive from the alarm clocks!"

Bartholomew was their coffee/cappuccino/espresso-making machine. Logan rolled his eyes, digging through his drawers. "Have you seen my blue shirt?" He asked. No one answered for several seconds, and then he heard a small _thump. _Poking his head out of the closet, he saw Rory now sitting on the floor.

"Um, you left it under the bed a few nights ago…" She trailed off, leaving him to remember what events had lead up to the hasty removal of his shirt. Smirking, he pulled out a white one instead, and grabbed a tie from the tie rack, and threw them and a pair of black pants onto the bed.

"Look at this!" Rory giggled as he headed to the bathroom to shower, "Black pants, black tie and a white shirt… Wow. That brings me back to the days of orchestra in middle school…"

"Do you have any other suggestions?" He called from the shower, his voice muffled by the running water.

"As a matter of fact, I do." She said. She went into the closet, pulled out a clean blue shirt and a new tie and threw them on the bed. She wrapped herself in a house robe and walked, or rather, trudged, to the bedroom door. "And now I make my leave, for I need my coffee before I expire. See you in a few minutes!"

Stumbling blindly into the large kitchen, she grabbed the pot of coffee (brewed by the maid) and inhaled deeply. She reached up for her favorite mug, the navy blue one with YALE emblazoned proudly on the front, and pulled it down. Much to her dismay, it now bore a large crack near the bolded letters. "Logaaaan!" She called plaintively. "Did you crack my muuug?"

"No!" A voice shouted back, "I'll be out in a minute. Use another one."

She huffed, but pulled another one with a devious grin. She poured herself her coffee, pulled a muffin from the breadbasket and sat down at the counter. Minutes later, Logan appeared, hair still wet from his shower. He automatically reached to the mug shelf to pull one down.

"Ace, when I said get another one, I didn't mean mine." He smirked at her, teasing but playful.

She rolled her eyes. "Then you shouldn't have cracked mine. And don't pretend you didn't, Buster. I can smell guilt on you a mile away."

He laughed. "Hm, my cologne smells like guilt. Good to know." He quickly swiped his mug from in front of her and took a long drink of coffee.

"Evil!" She exclaimed, a happy glint in her eye.

"And that's why you love me." He retorted, pulling her in for a kiss. "I've got to go to work now. Have fun without me home."

Rory grinned. "Ah yes, I have twenty or so male exotic dancers just waiting for you to step outside."

"I knew it!" Logan exclaimed sarcastically. Rory laughed and swatted him on the arm.

"Actually, I have to finish another piece and hopefully get a chapter or two of my book done, so I'm just going to sit at the computer until my eyes bleed."

Logan chuckled and kissed her again. "Have fun with that." He quickly downed the rest of her coffee and headed towards the door, grabbing his suitcase on the way.

"Have a good day, Mr. Huntzberger." She called as he left.

"You too, Ms. Huntzberger-to-be!" He shot back happily, and left her at the counter, staring contentedly at the diamond ring that had been on her finger since just a week ago.


	2. Stupid Travel Clock

**A/N:** Yes, this is a fluffy story. No, no one is being blown up. Or killed. Or held at gunpoint. Or disowned. Or tragically dumped. In fact, no one is even sad. For the time being. Don't confuse that with their being no drama. There is drama. Just no crazy ex-boyfriends-turned-psychotic-gang- members-turned-gunmen-turned-thiefs who impregnate Rory while she is in the hospital recovering from a tragic car accident brought upon by Logan being disowned and her fighting with her mother who is pregnant with Luke's child even though she is with Chris.

**Disclaimer:** If I Gilmore Girls, there would be alot more scenes with Logan in them. P

CHAPITRE DEUX 

She stared ferociously at the computer screen. It stared back at her. Using a perfectly manicured finger, she stabbed viciously at the letter 'E' on the keyboard. Nothing appeared on the blinking screen. She gave a small scream and tried again. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Nothing appeared.

She grabbed the phone from its cradle next to her, in the process knocking over the small travel clock Logan insisted on keeping there. It beeped as she finished dialing the number and held the phone to her ear.

"Logan Huntzberger here." The voice on the other end answered the phone.

"IT'S BROKEN!" She nearly screamed into the phone.

"Woah, Ace! Calm down!" Logan replied with a grin. He sat back in his chair, anticipating a more relaxing conversation then the one he had just finished with an employee he had to let go.

Rory slouched her shoulders. "It's broken." She huffed.

"What is?" He asked. He then heard the beeping noise that came from the discarded travel clock. "Um, Ace, did you break my clock?"

"No." She replied as she bent down and scooped it up. "But I will if it doesn't SHUT UP!" She directed the last bit at the clock itself, making Logan laugh. The clock, as if on cue, stopped beeping.

"Today is really not a good day for you and clocks, is it?"

"No, it isn't. Grr. One day I will defeat them all."

"See, that there is the perfect use of a Yale education – annihilating all alarm clocks." Logan said with a smirk.

"Forget about the clocks. My computer is broken."

Logan raised an eyebrow; so far, the computer had broken twice since they bought it a month ago. Usually, it was for the same reason. "What's wrong with it?"

"The keys don't type." She pouted.

Logan tried unsuccessfully to suppress a chuckle. "The keyboard is unplugged. Again."

"Oh." Rory replied sheepishly. Suddenly an idea occurred to her. "Do you think we can tell your parents and my grandparents that my computer broke so I have to stay home and work instead of coming to dinner?"

Logan rolled his eyes. "We've already rescheduled once."

"But that time didn't count, Honor was having a baby!"

"Rescheduling is rescheduling. Besides, we kind of have to tell them _before_ we actually get married."

"But I don't want to!" Rory whined. There was a brief pause and then she swore under her breath.

"Just realized your pout won't work over the phone?" Logan said with a smile.

"Damn you, Logan Huntzberger!" She laughed. "Okay, I need to start working or I will seriously be behind. See you at five?"

"Yeah, I'll be home. Love you!"

"Love you too," Rory said, then added, "But I would love you more if you got us out of dinner!"

"Goodbye, Ace." He replied, chuckling, and then hung up.

Rory turned back to her computer screen. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, she typed, and watched as nothing appeared on the screen. _Oh right. _She remembered. She crawled behind the desk and re-plugged the keyboard, which had indeed been disconnected.


	3. Stupid Antique Clock

**Disclaimer: **As I tried to write in the last chapter (damn typos), I do not own Gilmore Girls

CHAPTER PI (3.14159265...) 

By five thirty, they stood by the door. Rory held onto Logan's hand firmly, his hand covering most of her engagement ring. But there was no mistaking the little glint of platinum and diamond that sparkled from her fourth finger.

"You ready?" Logan asked.

Rory shook her head frantically. "It isn't too late to turn around and go home! I'm sure your Porsche can drive really, really fast. We could be in Russia before they even got to their cars!"

"We're going to drive over an ocean?"

"I mean, they're _old._ They take a long time to start their cars, and they drive really _slow. _We could move really quickly using our spry and nimble young limbs, and we'd never have to see them again."

"Can cars drive over oceans?"

"Of course, we would need new names. Hey, I know, you could dye your hair! And your name could be… um, Boris! Yes! You can be Boris and I will be Maria."

"Boris? And are you sure it's a good idea to drive the car through an ocean?"

"Logan! You aren't being helpful."

Logan smiled deviously. "Sorry, Ace. Here, is this helpful?" Before she could stop him, he shot an arm out and rung the doorbell.

They heard the scurrying footsteps as the maid approached the door.

"You are sooo sleeping on the couch tonight, mister." She whispered as they walked into, for lack of a better word, hell.

He smiled and turned to kiss her, but stopped when he heard someone clear their throat. He turned and instantly regretted it. Four stony faces belonging to four cranky members of the Hartford Elite stared at him.

"Logan, Rory." Emily said tonelessly, "Come sit with us."

Logan and Rory moved to the waiting sofa and sat down carefully. Logan was now holding Rory's hand in both of his, ensuring that the ring was completely hidden. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. He looked over at Rory, whose miserable expression said the same thing.

"So, Rory." Mitchum said suddenly, breaking the ice. "I hear you finished off at Yale and got yourself a job."

"Yes, sir." Rory replied stiffly, giving a very false smile. Logan squeezed the hand he held, giving her the comfort to continue. "It was a higher position than I expected, but who's complaining?"

Mitchum nodded. "You know, I might have been wrong about you, Rory." He told her, his face hinting that he was trying to be intimidating. "Then again, you must be one of the most well connected people in all of Connecticut, so it's hard to say."

Rory felt blood boil in her veins. Why did he hate her so much? Logan's hands had gotten tighter around hers. "Excuse me." She said politely, "I have to use the washroom." She stood up, not letting go of Logan's grip until her hand was no longer visible.

By the time she reached the bathroom, she was nearly crying. She sat down on the small bench that sat outside it for several minutes before Logan appeared next to her.

"Hey Ace," He whispered, sitting down next to her and gathering her in his arms. "What's wrong?"

"How can he talk to me like that?" She wasn't sad, just angry. Logan could feel a rant coming on. "I've never done anything to him, ever! He's the one who told me _I _didn't have it. He told me I didn't have what I needed to be a successful journalist. But I became one! And here I was thinking that he was going to apologize, but oh no, that would be too nice for Mitchum Huntzberger. And connections! Connections! How DARE he? We all know I didn't use any connections! Why did he have to be so condescending and-"

She was silenced by Logan's lips that came crashing down on hers.

"He doesn't matter." Logan told her firmly when they parted. "Don't waste your breath on him. By the way, do you think it's too late to drive to Russia?"

This got a small laugh out of Rory. "Do you promise to be Boris?"

Logan opened his mouth to reply when a shrill voice sounded nearby. "Logan honey, are you there with the Rory girl?" Shira's sudden presence startled them both. Rory stood up quickly, accidentally knocking the antique clock off of the wall above them.

Logan watched as it crashed to the floor, eyebrows raised.

"Don't you say a word." Rory warned him, mouth curling into a smile.

Logan shook his head. "Rory three, Clocks zero. How many more do you think you can take out before we have to leave?"

Drinks slowly progressed into dinner, and Rory and Logan realized that they needed to tell them the news soon. After they had returned, Mitchum had barely spoken to any of them, except to make the odd comment about either Rory or Logan's careers. Richard and, surprisingly enough, Shira, had tried to make pleasant conversation, both failing. Rory and Logan were terse, his hands never leaving hers.

The maid had just cleared the first course when Logan looked to Rory and nodded. She drew in a breath and slipped her hand from Logan's, placing it near her fork. Not too blunt, not too subtle. Emily noticed first.

"Rory." She said, "Is that what I think it is?" Her comment caused the three others to look at her left hand, where the ring stared at them, challenging them.

Shira gave an obviously fake smile. "You're engaged." She said in a very stilted voice, "How lovely."

Logan raised an eyebrow.

"Logan, Rory, congratulations!" noomed Richard. He didn't care much for Logan since he had found out that he and Rory were sleeping together, but he was genuinely happy that his granddaughter was content.

Mitchum said nothing.

"Have you set a date?" Emily asked, as though she wasn't too bothered.

"No." Rory replied, giving Logan a frantic look. Why weren't they angrier? Temper tantrums she could handle, but distance and coldness was aggravating. "But we were thinking summer."

Mitchum finally opened his mouth. "Son," He said, "I don't know whether I'm proud of you or disappointed. Either way, I do not think you should marry Rory."

And that was the end of that. Dinner went on, and Logan and Rory left immediately after. Once they had left, however, the 'grown-ups' had a talk.


	4. Stupid Car Clock

**Author's Note: **Here, this is a very short chapter. I realize that Emily and Richard were a tad passive in the last chapter, so get ready for super-old-people explosions in this one. ;)

LOS CHAPITROS QUATROS

"Gah." Rory huffed for the thousandth time.

"Okay, Ace, I get it, you want to murder my father."

"Gah."

"I think I may have a lighter somewhere here, you want to go back and burn him slowly?"

"GAH!"

"Maybe you can saw off his limbs with a butter knife?"

"GAH!"

"We can bury him alive in the garden, if you really want to torture him."

"GAH!"

"If you say 'gah' one more time, you're not getting any coffee tomorrow."

"Ga- Fine, evil one. Urgh." She said with a triumphant smile.

"I'm glad. I'm going to ask again, and this time, I do not want to here a 'gah' or and 'urgh'. What do you think of their reaction?"

"I hate them all. Except for Granddad. He was at least a _bit _happy. Did Shira really have to be so _fake_? And Mitchum.. Oh ho, don't you even get me _started_ on Mitchum."

"I won't."

"Good."

She reached forward to turn the radio on just as Logan drove over a small bump. Her hand swung up and hit the clock display, her ring leaving a fairly large scratch on it.

"Oops." She said sheepishly. "There goes another clock."

Logan just stared at her, mouth open and eyebrows raised.

Back at the Gilmore mansion, things were a bit more… uncomfortable.

"So…" Emily ventured after the young couple had left. "They're getting married."

"I suppose so." Mitchum answered gruffly. "It really was unavoidable. I just thought Logan would come to his senses before this."

"Excuse me?" Richard finally spoke, his face becoming red. "I put up with your snide pokes at my granddaughter all of the evening for her sake, because I know that she hates fuss. But don't think they went unnoticed. They didn't. I noticed every single one, and I do not think that they were appropriate at all."

"I was simply stating the truth. Logan can not marry the girl, he absolutely can not. She isn't what his wife should be. She has places to go, and he can't let her go those places."

"They seem to have been doing fine for the past little while. They're in _love_, Mitchum, they love each other. They will get married if they want to."

"Logan doesn't have time for love. He needs an heir, not a wife."

"Of course, I forgot - you are the perfect example of someone who took a wife only for procreation."

"You will not talk about my wife like that!"

The fight continued, both men growing redder and redder by the second. Shira and Emily, eyes filled with worry and awe, had slinked to the sitting room unnoticed, where they sat quietly, both too afraid to interrupt the argument.

"Will you take care of the planning?" Shira asked timidly. She had been wary of Emily since their 'conversation' at the event Rory had planned in her brief time off Yale.

"Yes, I suppose I will. Would you like to help?" Emily asked, her voice dripping with fake politeness.

"I should like that. It is my son's wedding, after all."

They fell once more into an awkward silence, only the muffled yelling of their husbands filling the cold room.


	5. Stupid Grandfather Clock

IF THIS CHAPTER WANTS TO BE CHAPTER FIVE, IT _CAN _BE!

Logan opened his eyes to find a set of very blue eyes just inches away from his face. He blinked groggily and sat up, letting the sheets fall off of his bare chest.

"I knew it." The owner of the blue eyes told him, also sitting up. "You _are_ a late sleeper."

"What are you talking about?" He asked, still muddled with sleep.

"You always said you were an early riser, so the alarm clock was just to be safe. Guess what? We still haven't bought a new alarm clock and it is nearly 11. So much for early riser, huh?"

Logan rolled his eyes. "Fine, maybe I do sleep in sometimes…"

"I bet you would every day. Every day. Maybe you would never wake up! Maybe the alarm clock is the only thing that stops you from becoming comatose and never ever waking up!"

Logan slid off the bed and stood up, noticing that Rory was already dressed in jeans and a fuzzy cardigan. "Why are you already awake?"

Rory shrugged. "The telephone rang; I answered it and immediately regretted I had."

"Was it Mitchum or Shira?"

"Actually, it was Emily _and _Shira. Apparently they are positively _thrilled _with the engagement and are looking forward to planning the event."

"Wait, what?"

"You heard me, they can't wait to start planning the event!"

"Ace, I thought we agreed on a low-key wedding!"

"_We_ did. The evil-ones never agreed to anything. Your mother is calling her party planner ASAP, and wishes that we get back to her soon with a list of guests and preferred theme."

"Damn! Did you say it was eleven?" Logan suddenly realized something.

"Yes, I did. But you aren't dealing with the issue at hand here."

"I promised Finn we'd be at his house at eleven thirty today, he's having a, as he put it, 'small get together'."

"So at least fifty people and ten times as much booze?"

"Naturally."

"Why don't you tell me these things ahead of time?" Rory moaned, running to the closet and pulling clothing out frantically.

"It's funner to see you run around like a headless chicken."

"Funner isn't a word!" She called back, "And are you insinuating that I am a control freak?"

"Not insinuating, informing." He said with a smirk. He stood up himself and walked to the bathroom at a leisurely pace.

"Walk faster! We have five minutes to get out of here! Your clothing is on the bed, hurry up and get dressed!"

"Yes, mother!" Logan shot at her.

Rory smiled sweetly. "Are you saying you do to your mother what you did to me last night?"

Logan froze in his tracks. "That image will scar me forever, Ace."

"Good. Now hurry UP!" She ran out of the closet in a suede skirt and a crocheted peach turtleneck sweater, hopping on one foot as she pulled on a brown pump. Reaching for the nearest thing to help her keep her balance, she grabbed the pendulum belonging to the large grandfather clock. Naturally, it broke off and fell to the ground.

Logan walked out of the bathroom to see his fiancée sitting, defeated, on the bed, one shoe on and holding the pendulum to their clock.

"You know, Ace, this is starting to get a little overdone."

Rory shot him a look of pure death, and he laughed.

Ten minutes later found them in Logan's car, all ready to go to the get together.

"So Ace…" Logan began, "We never finished the discussion about the wedding. Emily and Shira want to _plan _it now?"

Rory sighed. "Yes, for God knows what reason. Are we going to let them?"

Logan looked at the road ahead of them. "I don't know. It would be easier to, for sure. As much as we hate them, they are our family. I would feel bad if they had nothing to do with it. Also, refusing their help won't exactly make them more warm and fuzzy to you, would it?"

Rory nodded absentmindedly. "I thought of a good theme for it." She said after thinking about his opinion.

"What?" Logan gave her a huge smile, glad she agreed with his view on the wedding.

"Alice in wonderland. The book, not the movie. Think about it. The room can be all bright, guests can sit on toadstools and the tables will have very colorful place settings. Instead of a limo, we can have a train, like the one Alice talked to the bug on. We can have pigs and bunnies run around the floor for people to pet. The bonbonière can be decorative opium pipes, or an abstract pocket watch. The bottles of wine at the tables will say 'drink me' and the food will say 'eat me'. We can dress the servers like the queen of heart's workers, and the bridal party will have aprons or top hats according to gender."

Logan reached over and gave her a kiss. "I love it. Thank you for being so accepting."

Rory smiled. "You are very welcome. But that's it? We're going with Alice? Aren't you even going to suggest something?"

"Ace, my idea of a happy theme is Mitchum's funeral. I think Alice is great."

"I'll call Grandma and Shira and let them know. I just hope it turns out ok."

"It will, Ace." Logan assured her. "It will."

**Authors Note: **I know, I know… That went by without any excitement whatsoever… Don't worry; there will be plenty of clashing opinions once the planning begins! Also, don't stop reading because it sucks... Finn is in the next chapter, and who doesn't love Finn?!?!?!


	6. Stupid Cookoo Clock

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I DON'T GIVE THIS CHAPTER A NUMBER? 

They arrived at Finn's house only a couple of minutes late. As expected, there were at least seventy people in the house, all having a good time. Logan and Rory said hello to all of their friends, got themselves each a very readily available drink, and found a nice expanse of wall to stand by. Soon Finn himself saw them and made his way over.

"Rory, Logan! Have I said hello yet? I honestly don't remember. Wait, who's house are we at?"

"Yours, Finn." Rory told him, rolling her eyes.

"Really. Ah, and I was about to accuse someone of stealing my furniture. Good, good. You two having a ridiculous amount of alcohol and fun, in that order?"

"Yes, Finn, we are." Logan said.

"Excellent. Oh, Logan, Colin told me to tell you something. Unfortunately, I forget what it was. Have you seen him? I'll go get him to tell me again."

"I'm right here, Finn." Colin appeared next to Finn, glass in hand.

"Right. Colin, what did you want me to tell Logan?"

"I told you to tell him to come find me because I needed to tell him something."

"Er, ok. Logan, Colin says to tell you to –"

"I heard him." Logan interrupted, smiling at his friends' antics.

"Right then, I have nothing more to do here. Ah, look, the lovely Rosemary has arrived. Damn, I wrote on her invitation that this was a nudist party. I thought for sure she would fall for it. Ah, no matter. Who thinks I can get her to sleep with me tonight?" With that he ambled off merrily, not even waiting for an answer.

"So Colin, what was it that you wanted?" Logan asked when Finn was out of sight.

"I need your advice, man. Probably Rory's too."

"With what?" Both Rory and Logan asked at the same time.

"I… Ikindagotsomeonepregnant." He said in one breath.

"WHAT?" Once again, Rory and Logan's voices with synchronized.

Colin blushed. "Um, yeah. I got someone pregnant. That's not the problem though, I'm sure I've done that before… It's that this person is Steph. And I don't want her to stop being a friend, maybe even more. And I definitely don't want to mess up her life. I want to be there with her. But I don't know if I'm ready to accept the responsibility."

Logan, after he had processed this unbelievable information, couldn't help but smile. "Colin, you are by far the most responsible of us. I'm sure you can deal with a baby."

"And if you leave Steph, I'm going to be forced to kill you." Rory added. Over the years she had grown fairly close to Stephanie, and didn't want to see her messed up.

"So, you definitely think I should stay?"

"I know you should stay." Logan confirmed.

Colin nodded. "I thought I would, too. I just needed a few more opinions." He said. He looked over at where Finn was 'dancing' near the bar. "Well, a few sober ones, anyway."

He thanked them both again and walked away, leaving the two to their thoughts.

"Wow. Colin and Steph are having a baby. How on earth did that happen?" Rory asked no one in particular.

"Well Ace," Logan said with a smirk, "When a mommy and daddy love each other very much…"

Rory swatted him in the arm. "I wonder if they'll get married."

"They will." Logan assured her. "Colin wouldn't leave her alone like that."

Rory nodded, glad to hear it.

"Hey Ace, this conversation just got me thinking… Are we ever going to have kids?" Logan's voice suddenly got quieter and more serious.

Rory looked at him. They had never quite talked about it before. She knew she wanted to have kids, at least one. "Do you want to have any?" She asked.

Logan nodded. "I want to be a daddy. A real one, not like Mitchum."

Rory smiled. She was about to say something when a sudden noise startled her. "COOKOO!"

She moved her head in time for it to collide with the opening cookoo clock. The poor wooden bird was smashed against her brown curls to a gruesome death.

"Ow!" She exclaimed, bringing a hand up to brush the bits of bird off of her head. She noticed the look Logan was giving her.

"That's not fair!" She pointed out, "This one was Finn's fault!"

"Really, and how is that?" Logan inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"Come on, how many people do you know with cookoo clocks?"

Logan nodded. "Point taken." He laughed.

"EVERYONE OBSERVE AS I CATAPULT MYSELF OVER THE BANISTER TO A NEAR-CERTAIN DEATH, ALL TO WIN THE HEART OF THE LOVELY ROSEMARY!" Finn's drunken voice shouted over the din of the party.

Logan turned his head to where Finn was perched precariously on the edge of the stairwell.

"Does that look as stupid to you as it does to me?" Rory asked, concerned.

"If that were anyone other than Finn, I would say yes." Logan replied, shaking his head.

**Author's Note: **You see the pretty purple button? It's a magic pretty purple button. Oooh, Let's press it and see what happens!


	7. Stupid Catalog Clock

**Author's Note: **Just a shoutout to my lahvely, mahvelous, wahnderful reviewers - I adore you all! Thanks for your feedback, and as long as you keep reviewing, I'll keep posting everyday. And will I ever run out of clocks? I think not, for I am the AMAZING CLOCK WOMAN, and I have a room in my house dedicated solely to CLOCKS! Well, I don't really, but it would be kind of cool if I did, wouldn't it? Thanks again, keep reading and reviewing!

CH4P7R 53V3N.

Only 48 hours had gone by before Shira and Emily were in pure party planning mode. Rory walked into the Gilmore house to find dozens of people milling around, some bringing flowers, some swatches of fabric, and some food.

Emily and Shira sat at the middle of it all, laughing at some joke that Emily had just told. "Ah, Rory!" Emily exclaimed when she saw her granddaughter approach the table.

"Hi Grandma, Hello Mrs.Huntzberger."

"Please, please, call me Shira." Shira corrected Rory with her best socialite smile.

"Um, okay… Shira."

"Yes, yes." Shira waved her hand, indicating Rory should sit. "Now, Rory. Your Grandmother still hasn't clarified the theme of your… wedding, but I see lots of bright colors strewn around. Do tell, what was Logan thinking?"

Rory noticed that she had paused before saying wedding, and assumed that Logan had come up with the theme. This obviously wasn't her idea. So why was she doing it?

"Um, the theme is Alice in Wonderland…" Rory said quietly. Shira's face fell slightly before regaining composure in a happy, fake expression.

"Dear, that is interesting. But are you sure it is appropriate for a wedding?" Shira chose her words carefully.

"I think it's very unique." Emily interrupted the steady dialogue to say. "No one has ever done that and I think it would be marvelous. Very whimsical."

Shira nodded. "But perhaps a bit _too_ whimsical for a wedding? I thought maybe something classic… White roses, pea green accents… The dress could have a pea green sash, and the bridesmaids would wear green from head to toe…"

"It sounds lovely, Shira, but it not for us. We agreed on Alice and we want Alice." Rory was kind but firm as she said it.

"Imagine a chandelier above you, strings of the best roses in the world intertwined between crystals… This is a Huntzberger wedding, after all... There are certain standards to live up to."

"Shira." Emily interrupted, "I am allowing you to help plan this event for the happy couple. Not for yourself. Trust me, Shira, if I wanted to, I could break your family. I know as well as you do that you only agreed to do this to avoid a scandal. The Gilmore name is a fine one to marry into. I could break your family, Shira. Trust me; there is at least one girl in every office that Mitchum owns who has slept with him. Do you think none of them have every gotten pregnant? I could cause a scandal bigger than you could cause by pulling out of this wedding."

Rory stared at her grandmother, stunned. After a minute or so of awkward pauses, Shira cleared her throat. "So, Alice in Wonderland… That will be different, but if you're sure…"

Rory nodded. "Here, we've already made the guest list. Um, the groomsmen are going to be Colin, Doyle and Zach, and Finn will be the best man. The bridesmaids are going to be Steph, Paris and Lane, and my mom is going to be the maid of honor."

Shira nodded. "Who will give you away?" She asked. She had never even bothered to find out who Rory's father was.

"Um, my dad." Rory said, as if it were obvious. Looking at Shira's puzzled face, she realized that Shira had no idea who that was. "Christopher Hayden." She clarified.

Shira nodded again. Perhaps this wasn't such a bad marriage after all. The Hayden's were a nice, respectable family, and she knew that Christopher had recently inherited a fairly large sum of money.

A man bearing a book of color chips approached the three. Emily nodded to him, and he opened the book up to a series of vivid paint chips.

"Rory, we are going to have the room painted for you, so be a dear and pick a few colors, please."

Together, Rory and Emily chose bright pinks, greens, purples and oranges to paint the abstract forest scene. Shira sat quietly with a very bright smile on her face, refusing to look defeated as she felt.

After the paint man left, a woman came with a large book. The book was full of pictures of clocks, enough clocks to make anyone scream. Rory needed to choose one for the bonbonière. She flipped through several pages impassively, and then found the one she wanted.

It was made of glass, streaks of bright colors blown in randomly. The hands were squiggles that curled lightly at the ends, and the numbers were all clustered at the bottom, made to look as if they had fallen down. It hung on a delicate silver chain. It was perfect.

"Grandma!" She exclaimed. "I want this clock!" She pointed at the page for emphasis, and naturally, it ripped.

"Rory!" Emily scolded, taking the catalog away from her and handing her one filled with pictures of cakes.

"At least it wasn't a real one…" Rory muttered, leaving the two women very confused. Rory sighed audibly and looked at the cakes that could probably be sold as art. If only Logan were here.


	8. Stupid Meter Clock

THE VOICES TOLD ME THIS WAS CHAPTER EIGHT. 

"It was a cell phone!" Rory cried again.

"It's the same thing!" Logan shot back, still pretending to be angry.

"I don't know what kind of clock you have, but none of mine let me talk to my friends!"

"Maybe they would if you didn't cause their eternal demise!"

"Ok, mister. That was a low blow."

Logan smirked triumphantly. "I always win, don't I?"

"Would you look at that? Your ego just grew to be a tad too big for the bed. Looks like someone is going to be sleeping on the floor tonight!" Rory said sweetly in a singsong voice.

"Hey!" Logan threw his hands up in surrender, "I'm not the one who drowned my cell phone!"

"I didn't drown it. It had gunk on it, so I tried to wash it."

"You tried to give an electric appliance a bath."

"It was dirty!"

"I give up."

"Good, now keep driving."

Logan sighed and rolled his eyes, looking once more ahead of them on the road. They were headed to the mall to buy a new cell phone for Rory after her last one had an… accident in the kitchen sink.

Pulling up into the parking lot, Logan saw that most of the spots were full. "See? I told you we shouldn't have come on a Sunday." He huffed.

"Don't be silly, I need a new phone now. Look there's a spo – PUNCH BUGGY YELLOW NO PUNCH BACKS!" She interrupted herself upon seeing a yellow Volkswagen beetle, and punched Logan lightly in the arm.

"Ouch! Ace!" Logan cried out, caught unawares. He rubbed his arm and put on a fake scowl. "Honestly, are we back in the third grade?"

"Aw, Logie's just bein' sour 'cuz he got hurted by a giiirl!" Rory taunted in her best little kid voice.

"That's creepy." He pointed out candidly.

"Shut up and find us a parking spot." Rory laughed.

"There are none!"

"Hm. We have a dilemma here. Ooh! Ooh! I have an idea!" Rory squealed suddenly.

"Yes, Ace?"

"If we follow someone going to their car, we can steal away their parking spot when they leave!" She clapped her hands together excitedly.

"Ok. First of all, that's borderline stalkerish. Second off, we won't be stealing it away if they leave it. And lastly, you are waaay too exited by the thought of following someone to take their parking spot."

Rory pouted. "Fine, be that way. We'll see who's laughing when a certain blonde haired person has to drive around in circles for hours looking for a spot to park their car."

"Yes, we will, Ace." He confirmed with a smirk. They circled the lot in silence for a few minutes before Rory spotted a ridiculously tall and skinny man walk out of the mall with a ridiculously short and plump woman.

"Let's follow them!" She shouted gleefully.

"No."

"Pleeeeeeeeeease?"

"No."

"Hey, Logan, yesterday I was talking to your mother, and we both agreed it would be a very good idea to dress the groom in a white tux with a bright blue bowtie and stripy pants…"

"No you weren't."

"But I could. You forget, by messing with me, you are messing with the woman in charge of your wedding. And that is not a good idea."

"I hate you for this." He shot back at her, turning the car around and following the strange looking couple to their car. They led him to the underground parking, where the parking was pay by meter.

As soon as they stepped out of the car, Rory bounced to where Logan stood and held her palm outstretched in front of him expectantly.

He raised his eyebrows.

"Money for the meter." She explained impatiently. He dug in his pockets and pulled out a bunch of quarters and plopped them into her waiting hand. Without another word, she bounced over to the meter and began shoving them in. With every quarter, the hand of the meter's clock pushed itself forward another inch or two.

Logan was staring off into space, thinking about nothing in particular, when someone saying "shit" broke him out of his reverie.

"What now, Ace?" He groaned.

"Um, I may or may not have put too many quarters in, and the hand on the clock may or may not have gotten stuck, and the meter clock may or may not be broken." She bit her lip like an guilty child and flashed her best 'innocent' eyes.

He rolled his. "You, my dear," He told her as they walked to the elevator that took them to the mall, "Are positively _deadly_. If I were a clock, I would escape to Timbuktu."

**Author's Note: **Hello! Next chapter, Rory and Logan go to a Telus store. I have absolutely no idea if there are Telus stores in the U.S. If there aren't, please forgive me and pretend there are. Telus is a cellphone company and I love their ads with the monkies, so that's where Rory and Logan are going. Now press the magical purple button and leave a review!!!


	9. Stupid Bracelet Clock

**Author's Note:** Ok, so there is no Telus in the states. Well, I'm still making them go to the Telus store, because I think it's safe to say that Telus has the best ads in the entire UNIVERSE (I'm sure my canadian readers will agree. OR ELSE :P). And thanks again to allll my lovely reviewers, I am really quite shocked (And pleased) at the fact that people actually like my clock idea:P

I WONDER IF I WILL RUN OUT OF CHAPTERS BEFORE CLOCKS… NAH.

They walked into the mall, florescent lights blinding them as their green light bounced off the linoleum tiles into the couple's eyes. Rory grabbed Logan's hand and dragged him to the Telus store, eager to find a new phone. They entered the store and Rory let go of his hand and ran eagerly from display case to display case like a small child in a candy store.

"Oooh, look at that one! It's _green._" She cooed at one, and "Ohmigosh! You _slide _it and it opens!" to another. Logan, the forever loyal fiancé, followed her dutifully, but was unable to muster up the same enthusiasm. Finally, she decided on one that was both green and slidey.

A saleswoman approached, eyes flicking over Rory and settling on Logan. "May I help you?" She asked in a nasal voice.

Rory nodded. "I'd like a three year package with _that _phone." She said, pointing.

"Do you know which package you'd like, or would you like to see our pamphlets?"

Rory looked at Logan, who nodded and told the woman, "She'd like that package, please." He pointed to a package on a poster nearby being advertised by an adorable monkey.

"Yay! The monkey package!" Rory squealed once again.

"Ace, this is the last time I'm taking you anywhere in public."

"Mean." She shot back, sticking her tongue out.

They walked to the counter and pretended to listen as the salesclerk went over the fine points of the contract. Rory couldn't help but notice that the clerk spoke directly to Logan, and leaned over the counter in such a way that her chest was unavoidable to her victim's line of vision. Rory raised an eyebrow at her when she laughed ridiculously and put a hand on Logan's arm. She was about to learn the hard way not to mess with Rory's man.

"So just sign here and here, and the phone is yours." She was saying. Rory reached to grab the pen from the clerk's outstretched arm. As she pulled back, she accidentally-on-purpose looped her finger through the clerk's tacky beaded bracelet-watch and pulled down. The elastic snapped, scattering bright beads and the small clock all over the store.

"Oh, I'm _so_ sorry!" Rory exclaimed in a voice so fake it made Logan bite back a laugh. The clerk was trying to be polite, but the ghastly shade of red on her face betrayed her true, pardon the pun, colors.

Logan hastily finished the sale and then dragged a silently laughing Rory out of the store by the hand.

"I need food." Rory stated casually, as though she hadn't just destroyed someone's bracelet.

"Ace, you're just too much sometimes. You do know that this adds another clock to the scoreboard, right?" Logan said with a smirk.

"No, it doesn't. This was for the good of humanity." She retorted.

"Was it now. What if that bracelet was a family heirloom?"

"Then the family needs a new heirloom. Now let's go find some – Oh!" Rory cut herself off with a gasp, bringing her hand up to her mouth.

"What?" Logan asked, genuinely baffled. Rory lifted a hand and pointed to the window of a bridal boutique. In the window was a gorgeous dress.

"Logan!" She whispered. "That's my dress!"

Logan, who, while he appeared to be the perfect man, was still a man, didn't get it. "What do you mean?"

"It's my dress, Logan. I need that dress. That is the dress I am going to get married in. Come on, if they have my size then I know I'm right."

They walked in and Rory whizzed straight to the rack, nearly immediately finding the same one in her size. "This is it, Logan." She breathed. "My dress."

"Will Shira and Emily like you buying a dress off the rack? I thought they wanted it customed?"

Rory shook her head. "I don't care. This is my dress, Logan. I am wearing this, whether you like it or not."

Logan kissed her softly. "If you like it, so do I. I guess you've found your dress."

Rory smiled at him gratefully and together they found a clerk and bought the perfect dress.


	10. Stupid Stopwatch Clock

DIECI IS MY FAVORITE ITALIAN NUMBER. 

Weeks, leading into months, flew by, and the wedding grew closer and closer. Surprisingly enough, Emily was the one that had gotten upset over the dress, but she forgave Rory soon enough and moved on to being upset at the 'incompetent' caterers.

Soon it was time to start rehearsing the walk down the aisle, complete with a walking coach (yes, a coach on how everyone should walk), and two crazy women with a stopwatch.

"Eyes ahead, step out, heel toe, heel toe, heel toe!" The coach screamed shrilly as the bridesmaids and groomsmen walked down the carpeted church aisle. Finn, who was, as usual, less than sober, stumbled over his untied shoe and lurched ahead of Lorelai, landing upside down in one of the pews.

"STOP!" The coach screeched, eyes nearly popping out of her head. Lorelai was doubled over laughing, Colin hand his hand over his mouth, hiding a smile, Steph was as bent over as a severely pregnant women could be, Lane had a bemused look on her face, and Zach looked confused. Slowly, Finn straightened himself up and looked down at the pew. "Um, love?" He asked, addressing the coach, "Did you move this here in the last ten seconds or so? Because it definitely wasn't there last time I was here."

Logan, who was standing at the front of the alter, rolled his eyes. "When was the last time you were in a church, Finn?" He asked.

Finn frowned with thought, then answered, "Someone's wedding when I was twenty or so."

"And yet you consider yourself very familiar with the placement of the pews?"

"I did the naughty with the bride on one of them. Yes, the pews and I had a very close relationship after that."

"Ew, tell me I did not just hear Finn say what I think he said." Rory walked in to the room, wrinkling her nose.

"Unfortunately, love, I did just say what you think I said, provided what you think I said was 'I did the naughty with the bride', etcetera, etcetera. I must say, she wasn't one of the most faithful wives, but she had certain _talents _that may have made up for it."

"Agh!" Rory shouted dramatically, "My virgin ears! I'll never be pure again!"

Logan laughed. "Too bad, Rory. Finn can't help it, he's been like this forever..."

"Aw, naughty foreign boy, were you trying to get into all the girl's pants, even as a baby?" Lorelai asked Finn.

"Why yes, love, I was. Unsuccessfully, I might add. Two year old girls are such prudes. I mean, what's a three year old supposed to do when he's all alone in his treefort with nothing to do? I couldn't even -"

"Enough!" the coach shrieked. Finn, startled, fell off of the pew and onto the floor.

"I have some fairly interesting stories about church floors, too." His muffled voice sounded, face still pressed against the carpet.

Emily tapped her foot impatiently. "Honestly! This is the fourth time I've had to stop the clock because one of you is fooling around! Let's try this again, shall we, and this time, _no goofing off. _I swear, this is worse than teaching kindergarten!"

"Well, actually mom, it's slightly better, because we all…" Lorelai trailed off and looked at Finn, "Well, most of us… Have total control over our bladders."

"Lorelai, please. Act your age for _once_!" Emily pressed the reset button on the stopwatch. "Now, can I trust you to stay still long enough for me to go talk to the orchestra? Good. Rory, please hold my stopwatch."

Rory took the clock from Emily's hands and walked to stand next to Logan. "Um, Ace, are you sure that's a good idea?" He whispered in her ear.

"Ooh, what's he whispering to you, Rory? Is it something kinky?" Lorelai asked in a conspiratorial tone.

"Rory, love, I adore your mother." Finn said, standing up and brushing dust from his shirt.

"I adore you too, naughty foreign boy."

"Guys, I feel I must side with Grandma when I say, _shut up_, please. And no, Logan, I am not going to drop this clock. See? I'm holding it extra careful." She outstretched her hand to illustrate this and in the process, dropped it on the Church floor. It burst open with a small _crack_.

Logan smirked his best I-told-you-so smirk.

"Ow!" Someone shouted. Logan looked to Rory, thinking it was her, but then realized it was Stephanie. "Owwww!" She shouted again.

Colin helped her sit down, talking to her softly and comfortingly.

"Are you ok, love?" Finn asked, concerned. Steph shook her head.

Colin swore. "What's wrong?" He asked.

Lorelai bit her lip, "Well, if I've ever been pregnant, which I have, and if I've ever felt like that, which I have, and if I've ever petted a llama... Wait, I didn't do that... Anyway, I'd say she's going into labor." She said.

"No!" Steph wailed. "It's a month and a bit too early! Colin, this is all your fault! Make it stop!!!"

"No can do, babe." Colin told her. "Let's get you to the hospital!"


	11. Stupid Wall Clock

**Author's Note: **This is it, my dear readers, it's time for the wedding. Don't hate me if it sucks, i can't write about these kind of things. For anyone that thought Finn doing the nasty with the bride last chapter was a little too gross, I'm sorry. I just thought it was something an already bored society wife would want to do, and something Finn would gladly agree to doing. Sorry if you were offended. So anyway, here it is, ZEE WEDDING! Oooh, and thank you muchly Bellanicky, who gave me the idea about montreal. Thankses you! And now, without further ado...

OUI, LES AMIS, C'EST LE TEMPS POUR LE CHAPITRE ONZE ! 

Rory stared at herself in the mirror, chuckling silently at how clichéd this whole scene was. She stood, decked out in her dress, fingering the light tulle with a perfectly manicured hand, while total chaos reigned behind her. But she was there, oblivious to all of it. It was her wedding day. She was getting _married. _

What really surprised her is that she was getting married to Logan. When she was younger, she had never even considered that the thing with Logan would last. Even after she fell for him, even after she knew she needed to be with him forever, she denied it. And yet here she was, getting her happily ever after.

An infant crying made her turn around, listening to the soft ruffle of the dress as she did. Steph rushed over and picked up Nicole, who was squirming in her poofy purple dress, and rocked her gently. "Wow, Rory." She said as she shushed the fussing infant. "You look gorgeous."

Rory smiled and waved her hand dismissively, just as Lorelai entered the room in her bridesmaids dress. "You like?" She asked, giving a little twirl. It was a vibrant yet classy yellow, with swirls of color and strings of meshy tulle hanging loosely from the waist, and light gold accents around the arms and bodice. She, like the other bridesmaids, was supposed to look like a bread-and-butterfly. The groomsmen were wearing tan with yellow accents, made to look like a rocking-horsefly.

"Very nice." Rory said with another smile. She just couldn't stop smiling today, and no one could blame her. She was getting married. Chris stuck his head in the room.

"Hope I'm not interrupting anything. Gigi wanted to say hi, and the priest says you have to get to the front of the church. Five minutes to go. Wow, my baby girl is all grown up. Gigi, I'm not letting you near boys until you are 80 at least." He said, directing the last comment at Gigi.

The little girl scrunched up her nose. "Boys are yucky!" She screeched happily. She ran into the room and gave Rory a hug. Gigi was wearing a blue dress and white apron, modeled after Alice's outfit throughout the book.

"Hey there, Gigi!" Rory bent down to give her half sister a hug. "Come on then, 'Alice', let's get your flower basket and go to the front of the church, ok?"

Gigi giggled and nodded. "I left them there." She pointed to a table that held a decorative vase and a small basket full of poppies. Rory walked over and picked it up. "Agh!" She exclaimed. "Someone left a screw in the basket." Glad that she saved the wedding from potential disaster, she plucked it out and flung it over her shoulder.

It landed smack dab in the middle of the clock on the wall, leaving a chip in the glass, before falling to the ground. "Uhh, guys?" She asked, watching it roll uselessly on the floor. "Can we um, not tell Logan about this clock?"

They quickly finished whatever it was they needed to finish and walked to the front of the church. The music soon started. Gigi went first, flanked by Lane's twin boys, Kyle and Robbie, who were dressed as the march hare in tan suits and, as Emily described them, _classy _bunny ears. Steph and Colin went next, closely followed by Lane and Zach. Lorelai and Finn were the last of the bridal party to proceed. Then Rory walked out, arm linked with Christopher. All heads swiveled, and all mouths dropped. Stunning was an understatement.

Her dress was still the one they had found in the mall. It went off of the shoulders and had a slight ruffle to the tiny sleeves. It hugged her body until it went off into a tiny train. But it had been slightly altered. The skirt was covered in light tulle, the lightest colour ever, but it still left an unmistakable glimmer of rainbow. Finally, tiny, very lightly coloured beads were sewn together to look like flowers and bugs – many of the strange ones that Alice had found in Wonderland. They started condensed at the top and slowly dispersed until only a few brushed against the hem of the dress. Logan was awestruck.

The wedding went without any mess-ups. Soon, before either could realize what was happening, they were married. As they climbed into the antique car that looked like a train, Logan pulled her in for a kiss. "No regrets?" He asked softly.

"None." Rory said with a huge smile. He returned it. "Well, I wouldn't have broken the clock, but…"

Logan sighed. "You broke another clock?"

Rory smiled and nodded as he rolled his eyes and gave a grudging smile. "But you still love me."

He pulled her in for another kiss. Within five minutes, they had arrived at the banquet hall. The lavish reception was just as Rory had envisioned it. Well, aside from Finn's antics. It's impossible to plan those.

As the guests moved to sit down at their respective tables, Finn was standing near Kyle, Robbie and Gigi. "So then I told the policeman, 'go to hell' and the policeman told me I was a very bad, bad boy and I asked the policeman if he liked very bad, bad boys, and…" He trailed off as Rory moved behind them, hand on hips.

"Ah, Gigi?" He asked. The little girl nodded. "Is your sister standing behind me?" She nodded again. "Does she look angry?" Gigi nodded and giggled. Finn turned around slowly to face the wrath of Rory… Huntzberger. She grabbed his arm and dragged him from the giggling children.

"Do you really think it's appropriate to tell three children, all under the age of ten, about your… _adventures_?" She paused on the last word, not sure how to phrase it.

Finn shook his head. "Don't worry, I will no longer tell them about my, as you put it, adventures. I am going to be a very good boy and talk to people my own age about reasonable topics." With that he fled, leaving Rory behind shaking her head.

Logan came up behind her and put his arms around her waist. She leaned back, enjoying his ability to make her feel safe. "So, Mrs. Huntzberger," He said, the name new but welcome on his tongue, "You told me not to discuss the honeymoon until tonight. Where do you want to go?"

Rory thought for a minute. "Montreal." She replied. "We've been to Asia, Europe, Africa, Australia, and just about everywhere else together. But we've never gone to Canada. I can't think of anywhere better then Montreal."

Logan smiled. He had to hand it to her, she was always creative. "Good, I'm going to make a few calls, book us a hotel and the jet. Um, why is Finn talking to your grandparents? Is that safe?"

Rory shook her head. "No, it isn't. I'm going to stop him." She said with a laugh, walking towards where they stood.

"Good luck, Mrs. Huntzberger!" He called after her. She smiled. She would never get tired of that.


	12. Stupid Tiffany Clock

WAIT, WHAT CHAPTER IS THIS?!?! 

"Mmph." Rory said into the pillow that was covering her face.

"Come on, Ace… It's time to wake up." Logan told her, trying to pry it out of her fingers.

"Mmph! More sleep! It's your fault I didn't sleep last night!" Her voice sounded muffled.

Logan smirked. "My fault? Wait, who was the one that woke up at 3 in the morning and couldn't believe she was married, a confession that lead to no sleep until 4?"

"YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID NO!" Rory whacked him with a pillow.

Logan took the opportunity to pull the pillow away. "Rule number one of life: When a… Shall we say, eager girl wants something from you, the word 'no' doesn't exist." He told her with another smirk.

"Stupid." Rory rolled off of the bed and onto the floor with a thump.

"Good, now go get dressed. Come on, we have to go to breakfast. So is there anything you want to do today?"

"Biodome." Rory shouted from the bathroom, mouth full of toothpaste, "And I need clothing, mister-packing-for-vacations-is-boring."

"Ok, so shopping and then Biodome. But first, I have a present for you! Well, two actually."

"Logan, it's 10 in the morning. That isn't what I want to hear from you."

"I also have a coffee."

"Well, why didn't you say so earlier?" Rory asked, bouncing into the room. She grabbed the coffee and drank it quickly, not even noticing the bemused look on her husband's face. When she was finished, Logan kissed her and pulled two turquoise boxes from behind his back.

"Oooh, something from Tiffany! I love shiny things!" She untied the white ribbon that secured the first box, pulled the lid off, and slid the object out of its small pouch. A classic heart bracelet fell onto her hand. She picked it up and examined the heart shaped charm. On it the words _'Mrs. Rory Huntzberger – Ace, I love you' _were engraved in miniscule letters. Rory smiled and put it on.

"I love you too." She told Logan, giving him a kiss. After a moment or two she pulled away and turned her attention to the other, larger box. After opening it, she saw it contained a stunning silver watch.

She stared at it. "Is this some kind of sick joke?" She asked finally.

Logan laughed. "I just want to see how long it takes you to break it."

"It is a sick joke. Well guess what? Just to spite you, I am NOT going to break it EVER." She stood up and dropped the box onto the bed. The watch, which she had forgotten to re-secure into the box, bounced out and landed on the floor. Broken.

Logan couldn't stop laughing through all of breakfast and most of the ride to the mall. They walked into the mall through the entrance nearest the room sized cage full of exotic birds. _Definitely, _Logan realized as Rory pulled him forcefully to the cage, _Not a good place to bring a Gilmore girl. _He paid for it dearly, having to listen to her imitate the birds for the next fifteen minutes.

They flitted from store to store, the pile of bags Rory made Logan carry growing bigger and bigger. Finally, after Rory spent literally hundreds of dollars at Farfelu, a sickeningly cute and bright novelty store ('Yes, Logan' She had told him, 'We really do need a set of martini glasses with cows hand painted on the front. Who doesn't? And yes, the bath bombs shaped like fruits are necessary. And don't even THINK about touching the hello kitty stuff!'), they left the mall and drove back to Montreal to go to the Biodome. After the birds, Logan was less then happy about this.

"Bonjour! Comment est-ce que je peux vous aidez?" The clerk at the desk asked.

"Deux billets, s'il vous plait." Logan responded in halting French. The clerk nodded, and Logan bought the tickets and walked Rory to the entrance of the Amazon room.

"What were you saying?" Rory asked. Her French was less then adequate.

"What do you think we were saying?"

"Um, you told her that I wasn't your wife and she asked you if you wanted to meet her later for a few drinks and you said yes and she said good, I will see you at eight?" Rory guessed.

Logan shook his head and rolled his eyes. "How could we have said all that in two lines?"

"Magic?"

"She asked me what I wanted, I said two tickets. I thought that was pretty obvious considering she gave me the tickets."

"Fine. Now shut up, there's supposed to be a Capybara here!"

"What the hell is a Capybara?"

"Imagine a hamster, but less fuzzy and the size of a large, fat dog."

"That sounds creepy."

"It is. Help me find it."

They found it after Logan had complained about freaks of nature, they moved on until they reached the giant fish tank full of large and some fairly disturbing fish.

"It's a dogfish!" Rory exclaimed, pointing to a hideous, pointy looking thing.

"It's another freak of nature!" Logan retorted with a fake-excited voice. "Honestly, Ace. First the Capywhatsa. Then the demonic monkeys. Then the hyperactive otter. Then the-"

Rory cut him off with a loud 'Shhh'. "I can't find that flat thingy." She said, pointing to the picture of it on the wall.

An employee, who saw them, walked over. "Est-ce que je peux vous aidez?"

"On ne peux pas trouver le poisson." Logan replied. The guide pointed to what looked like a flat rock.

"Le voila." He said. When he was out of earshot, and after Logan pointed it out to Rory, she asked once again what Logan had told the man.

"What do you think we said this time?" Logan asked.

"It could have been the same as the first. Or you could have sold me for a new cow and a pot of flour. Who knows?"

**Author's Note: **Yes, we are nearly at the end. Boohoohoohoohoo :P Well, thanks again to Bellanicky for the idea of montreal as a honeymoon spot, it worked out perfectly. The next chapter is in Montreal as well.

THIS IS IT, FOLKS: THE FINAL CHAPTER!


	13. Stupid Surprise Clock

**Author's Note: **Hello my dear readers! This is it, the last chapter. Yeah, it's a little short, but it gets some stuff said that needed to be said. Thank you to all my readers and reviewers! Also another thank you to Bellanicky for the montreal idea! Hope you all enjoyed!

THIS IS IT, FOLKS: THE FINAL CHAPTER!

It happened when Logan least expected it to; well both of them, really, but Rory expected it more. She waited until the last day of the honeymoon. She waited until after the hockey game (Go Montreal Canadians!), until after their visit to the botanical gardens and to Old Montreal and until after their hike on the mountain and their shopping adventure downtown. She waited until they were at the airport with only 45 minutes 'til the jet came to pick them up.

She told Logan she was going to do a little last minute shopping at said airport, and he told her to go alone, after more then a week of shopping he was shopped out.

After what was only an hour but Logan insisted was at least four, Rory came back happier then Logan had ever seen her. If her smile was any wider, it would crack her face open. He also noted that she had several large bags.

"Did you need all of that stuff?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

She nodded.

"My poor credit card."

Rory laughed. "Your credit card wouldn't feel a scratch if we bought a small country. You want to see what I bought?"

"Sure." Logan shrugged as Rory sat down next to him and pulled a childish mobile out of one of the bags.

"Um, isn't that for little kids?" He asked, puzzled.

"Hey, I just thought it was cute. That's not all." She pulled out a set of cute blocks with ABCs on them.

"Once again, have you converted back to your two year old self?"

"They'd look good on the mantle."

Logan shrugged, still oblivious. And so it went for the silver brush and the pair of booties. Rory, amazed that Logan still didn't get it, decided it was time to bring out the big guns.

"And finally," She said, pulling out the object she meant to save for last, "I bought this." With a triumphant, if possible bigger smile, she pulled out a small clock shaped like a baby. On its diaper were the words _BABY TIMER, _and the dial was set to 8 months. Logan took it out of her hands like it was the most precious stone on earth.

"Wait… Does this mean…"

Rory nodded.

"We're gonna have…."

Rory nodded.

"Is that what…?"

Rory nodded.

Logan dropped the clock in shock, a smile similar to Rory's appearing on his face. The clock met with the airport floor and cracked in half.

"And this time, I didn't even do it." Rory stated with a laugh.

Logan pulled her up and kissed her. They stood there for a few moments, and when Logan pulled back, he put a hand on Rory's stomach.

"So we're happy about this?" Rory asked in the comfortable silence.

"Ace, you have no idea." Logan replied, happy tears in his eyes.

"We're having a baby." Rory said with another smile.

"We are." He looked down to where his hand was on her belly.

"Hey little whoozit." He cooed to it.

Rory laughed.

"Ace, you know what? We are going to need to baby proof the apartment. Seeing as how this is your kid, we need to remove all the clocks."

Rory laughed again and hit his arm playfully. "That isn't fair. You're the one who killed the last one!"

**Author's Final Note: **Ta-dah! (Which is a really good album, by the way) That was my first fanfic, folks! Was it good, bad, or terrible? Leave a review with your final thoughts. Hope you liked! I might write a sequel, so drop a review if you want me too. If enough people say that they want one, I'll write it! (Probably more fluff, probably about the baby)


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